we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I will pee on everything he values.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
