Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
