haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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