Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
