You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
