We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
