I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize