Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
