oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
