i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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