Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
