i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
