You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you win again, gameday.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
