I hope mine doesn't look like that
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
