I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
