Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
