But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
