i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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