I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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