I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Randomize
