I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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