How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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