THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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