i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
