I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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