My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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