He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
