I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize