Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
