Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
