Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
