Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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