you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
