is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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