The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
