you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Green mimosas i think yes
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
What happened to fro yo and sex?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
