My cat gives me a boner
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
