Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
