You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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