I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
