if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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