2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I feel like death gave me a hand job
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
