Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
