Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
