i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
