My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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