At least make sure they are 18
Why
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
