erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize