I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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