I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
