i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
